when you find something that makes you happy shouldn't you do everything in your power to keep it?

i am such a fucking belligerent bitch when i get drunk.
i'm so over myself right now. tired of this life.

"well, how do you feel about bob dylan?"
"he's alright..."


that's sort of a deal breaker for me.

i hate everything about California

because you are leaving me for it

and how the hell do you compete with a state?

i remember being seventeen and sitting in your van because you made me listen to this song on a cd you made for me. you drew your own version of the cover art right on the disk with assorted sharpie colors. i listened to it for months. until the marker started to wear off and it began to skip because i would play it on infinite repeat. i love this song and i play it every time i start to miss you to death.

i have to keep my distance. i cannot deal with losing you. i have to leave you before you leave me.

we used to sit in the bar and every time someone played 'paper planes' he would get up and play 'straight to hell' by the clash immediately after. he would come back and do that stupid thing with his face where he scrunches up his nose behind too much bourbon as a sign that he was running out of charming things to say. i saw him the other day. i wanted it to look like i had moved on. i had a feeling you might have come over to talk but our timing was all wrong. i wish i could go back to that night and never have gone upstairs. i wish i could have ignored the fact all her things were left lying on your sheets. i wish i could have just pretended i didn't care because i would still be with you now.